Saturday, September 10, 2011

I'm Alive: Confessions of a former fangirl.

Yeah  I know I only have two entries, but it's been a stressful year.  Now that my boyfriend and I are settled into our new place, I have more time to plaster my attention to writing in this thing. Which I should be doing anyway to hone some craft in the creative fields if I'm ever going to pursue anything in the field. Plus writing is all I got cause I'm still working on my drawing.  And my drawing sucks due to lack of practice, so for the sake of say one person that reads this, I will not post any "current" works.  I'm not sure yet if I should even post my older stuff, because being 19 and enamored by anime back that then, it wasn't pretty.

Yes, I will stand up an admit it know since I've been on my own now for almost 5 year and have bills, that I was a fangirl. Albeit a poor one at that.  Had a fanfic and everything. But it was that very one fanfic that catapulted me into the skill of writing itself. To use words to describe another world on the screen or back then on paper and see how it will turn out amazed me.  Of course the fic I'm talking about is my power ranger fanfic that I wrote when I was like, 11 or 12 I think.



The girls are men in this picture. I wonder if every time they morph they undergo  a sex change.

I found my old box of stuff from way back when and found it.  Amused, I looked into it and just cringed at the bad grammar, bad pacing, the bad art (Yes! I drew pictures for the darn thing!) and atrocious handwriting. Mind you the story was handwritten and in a spiral notebook because growing up my family was way too poor to afford a computer and internet. And since I didn't know what "fan fiction" was at the time, I had no idea that I was writing it.  Either way the whole thing was an eye sore, but you know why I keep it?  I completed the darn thing.  162 pages.  I keep it as a reminder that no matter what bile vomits out of your head you have to keep at it until it's complete.  But it took me another  8 years to understand your story had to had plot. But of course being as I was I set off to another fandom years later, at age 17 coming home from a trip to Georgia with new play station in hand and a game called Final Fantasy 7.

I have the guilty conscience to admit I still have a soft spot for it since all the rest of the current games went to j-pop shit.  It really blew the door open and introduced me to the other realms of video games in terms of looking at story and game structure.  Sure, I've played Mario and other casual platform games at the time, but never really cared really about the stories or character.  And in one character in particular was not the the protagonist with the Chocobo Hair style, but his leather trench coat wearing antagonist, Sephiroth.

Polygons are HAWT!

Yes, I was so enamored by this character, I made a fan fic, with a mary-sure (honey, the works), and a web page. So how I would explain away with this fascination.  I don't know I guess because I came from a very tight nit religious family, that upon seeing this would tell me to get rid of it.  Like my tapes and CDs of bands I like, deeming them "unwholesome". This was my private get-a-way from that.  I was in school at the time and had, unknowingly at the time, depression and high anxiety issues and once again I needed an outlet and writing that FF7 fan fic go me back into writing again, but this time I will learn something different from this experience.


I learned that writing is a sort of dynamic skill that one must continue to exercise to get better at.  I noticed I put a lot of emphasize on setting and then pacing and progression.  I even learned how to plan my plot as ridiculous as it was. But my anxiety got in the way and I only attempted 7 chapters of the unfinished fic.  In my early twenties, I've even attempted to complete the darn thing, but over time I've just lost interest. The mary-sue character that I've been honing and creating all these years took a life of her own and I decided 2 years prior to pack this Fan Fic shit in and start a new. Creating a new story for her to run around in.

Now, I don't know if my writing is very good or that my story (or what's left of it) so far is interesting, but I'm enjoying it so far and keep trying to come back and have a go as they say.

So as of tomorrow, I'll make Sunday my article day.  It can be about anything, from the latest show I watched or what game I'm playing or the like.  That way I can take my time, write the bloody topic and then post it up in a weeks time.  This gives me a reasonable dead line.  So come back tomorrow and read my review on Doctor Who. The episode: The Girl Who Waited.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Comp Bust

It seems that unknown invisible forces are against me as once again my computer died--officially.  So it's now very hard to keep updating this blog (not that I tend to be good at updating things).  So off I trotted to the nearest library, which I am sitting in now, contemplating on whether or not to download some of Yathzees games on their computer systems.  I'm afraid to do so, as I think they would chastize me for even doing so.  Ah fuck.  I'll do it anyway. I can always play dumb. "I'm sorry librarian lady,

However, the real reason I'm here is to also do the most monotouos thing since reality T.V.: Looking for a job.

Ah yes, more hours of Career Builder and Craig's list to occupy my time as I go to interview upon interview with out success.  Ressession over? HAH!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Two-Thousand and a Lemon

New year, new start. New everything. Deleted all new post because I felt like it as I'll just use this for my creative nonsese. No personal whinning about my life or the like. Well not really. Not like my life is all that interesting at the moment, but one can hope that I win the lottery or become a good enough writter to make my own income.


 
I have a confession to make. No I take it back, it's not really a confession more like a--secret revelation. I've been watching Zero Punctuation and visiting Fullyramblomatic.com--and for those of you who don't know Yahtzee Croshaw, I'd recommend on visiting the the links above. A very funny and creative man and to top it all off he's a brit--which adds a personal charm to what he does. I've read his old archive site before it was redirected to his blog, and I have to say I was very entertained but also very inspired. I love his writing style and the way he executes his humor (try reading his humor reviews they're hysterical) and his fiction is very well written. But as I have stated above, I am also inspired because of one thing: his games!

 
Yes, his games. 1213, The Defoe saga featuring interesting characters including a gentleman thief named Trilby. Very creative and interesting despite the pixelated graphics, but as far as pixleated graphics go it's pretty nice. They were used using the AGS a software where you can create your own adventure game. Think RPG Maker but for adventure games. So I decided to take it upon myself and download this little nifty trinket and try it out myself. Since I've havent' been bothered to do much writing or drawing or the like I think this little program will help wet my paled for creative juices.

 
Which leads me into the 2011 resolution list I have created. Goes as follows:
 
  1. Get off my fat ass and start to do exercise again. I swear I'm vegetating. That and my waistline is telling me that my paints are cutting off circulation.
  2. Continue to find a job. Not that I'm doing this already. I've been working with a temp agency, but I figure I'll just swallow my pride and walk into the nearest McDonald's and humbly apply.
  3. Get into school. Also already doing. 
  4. Update this blog. No really, if there's anything I learned about being a good writer from my friend Jedi and Yahtzee Crowshaw himself, is that one must continue to write even if it's in a journal of some kind. That's how you keep your skills sharp kiddos.
  5. Make a game of my own with AGS. I figured this is finally for me to exercise my writing skills into another medium. One I enjoy very much. Let's hope I don't slip into a involuntary coma and neglect to do it as I've done so many times
  6. Finish my Creptus Val story.---better yet I could use this and put it into a game. but Yeah as soon as I find my lost USB drive, I'll get to it.

  
Well I guess that's pretty much it. Actually I'd put more up on this update, but I would have nothing to do tomorrow (besides a job interview at precisely 11:30am.) I'll let you know how that went along with other bits of update.

  
Now, I shall return to hearing DJ with the Fire by Effiel 65 and playing Mass Effect 2.

 
 
=Van=